


room to fly

by starlightwalking



Series: Ataquenta Silmarillion [19]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Aromantic, Aromantic Aredhel, Gen, Introspection, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:21:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24809944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightwalking/pseuds/starlightwalking
Summary: Aredhel reflects on her relationships, past and present.
Relationships: Aredhel & Celegorm | Turcafinwë & Curufin | Curufinwë, Aredhel/Eöl (Tolkien)
Series: Ataquenta Silmarillion [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2076816
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14
Collections: Anna's A-spectrum Anthology





	room to fly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Milleniummfalcon](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Milleniummfalcon).



> This is a repost from my Hobbit/LOTR drabble collection; I'm moving my Silm stuff out of that fic. I will also be reposting the comments from those chapters so I can preserve them.
> 
> Prompted from an [aromantic writing prompt list](https://arofili.tumblr.com/post/189731665547/aro-writing-prompts): Aredhel + "spending time with yourself" and "queerplatonic relationships."

Aredhel sighed, leaning against a slender tree with a smile. Eöl would be gone for a sennight or so, and she had all this corner of the world to herself.

Eöl was— Well. She wasn’t sure how to think of him. He was beautiful, certainly, and charming, but there was an edge to him that she was afraid to see the truth of. Still, he treated her well, for all he evaded any question of her departure.

She missed the freedom of walking alone in the world. She had been glad to lose her entourage of stuffy, noble lords—she wanted solitude, on her own terms. The business of Gondolin got on her nerves, and with no one there who truly knew her heart…

There was a reason she had defied Turgon’s command to visit only Fingon: she was his sister, not his servant, and it was not to her brothers that her heart turned. She missed the company of her dearest friends, Celegorm and Curufin, who even now were sundered from her.

Yes, she missed the sex—though Eöl was a generous lover in his own right—but her heart was not warm for him as it was for her cousins. They could laugh with her, cry with her, and yet they left room for her to fly, and expected no sweetness she could not and would not give them. But she had not reunited with Curufin and Celegorm; fate led her feet to Nan Elmoth instead.

She had traded one cage for another, it seemed. She rested a hand on her swelling belly, wondering if the little one growing inside her felt trapped as she did. And yet she loved the child, though they were not yet born, and the thought of them growing up and leaving her struck pain in her heart. Perhaps she could understand why Turgon and Eöl wished to keep her with them, if they felt this same love for her as she did for her baby.

And yet, even if her child never left her, she would not be happy—not if she was unfree to go whither she wilt, and love whomever she may. She hoped her child would understand her need to be alone, to be herself. She hoped they could share that understanding. She hoped her baby would have their father’s beauty, and their mother’s heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Rebloggable on tumblr [here](https://arofili.tumblr.com/post/189734578952/mileniummfalcon-asked-oh-fuq-how-about-s-andor).
> 
> Thanks for reading, and please comment if you enjoyed!  
> You can find me on tumblr [@arofili](http://arofili.tumblr.com/).


End file.
